Thursday, August 14, 2008

A few thoughts on the Olympics I really hadn't expected to be

A few thoughts on the Olympics

I really hadn't expected to be watching as much of the games as I have been, but seeing as how it's summer and there's precious little else on TV, I've gotten sucked into a number of events which usually wouldn't hold my attention. This has given me time to formulate a few opinions about the games, opinions I wanted to share.

The Chinese "women's" gymnastic team: Oh come on!! If these children are all 15 and older, I'll eat my hat! It just serves to remind me that the only ones who abide by the rules (Olympic code, Geneva convention, whatever) are the good guys. Yeah, I know Canada and America have had their share of cheaters but we denounce them when they're discovered. Really, are we still stuck in a 1950's Cold War frame of mind where we think Olympic medals prove our politics are better than others'? Just look at the Chinese men's gymnastics team, and then compare them to their women. Tell me if you think they're about the same age.

Michael Phelps: Oh man, can this guy swim! Sure, he ain't nuthin' special to look at (actually, he's rather unattractive, wouldn't you say?) but wow, what an athlete!

Women's beach volleyball: I missed the's about attractive athletes in skimpy bikinis, right? So how come the men don't wear Speedos..?

Canada sucks at the summer games. It's sad but true. Other than at rowing, I mean. Just wait until the Vancouver winter games in 2 years. Oh yeah. Ice, snow, hockey, and Canadian beer. You're welcomed, world!

Men's gymnastics: the skills these guys have really don't translate into anything useful in real life. The high bar, the pommel horse, the rings...can't really use those skills, say, in an office, can you?

I coined a new phrase: "Yop, yos..."
I say it every time an athlete messes up his or her performance. It stands for "Years of practice, years of sacrifice", and it underscores the pathos of the moment. I feel bad for these athletes when they screw up after so much work but it goes to show how ultimately many of the things we pursue aren't worth a whole lot. Seriously, don't you feel bad for the runner or the swimmer who fail to medal by a couple of hundreths of a second?
"Yop, yos..."

Okay, this is an example I always use when discussing racism: who wants to bet me that there won't be a single white guy competing in the finals of the 100 meter dash? That isn't a racist comment by the way; it a racial one. What I'm saying is that blacks are generally superior to caucasians as athletes (signed, the men's basketball team). Oh, I know you can come up with examples where caucasians dominate (hockey, water polo, skiing, gymnastics, etc) but does anyone really doubt that if blacks wanted to dominate those sports, they couldn't?

Which reminds me of Chris Rock's reasons why black people don't play hockey:
First, it's cold out there! Second, we might get our gold teeth knocked out! Third, we have no desire to dominate another professional sport. And, finally, no brother is going to go anywhere there is a bunch of crazy white people wearin' masks and carryin' sticks!

Back to the couch...

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